4-1-04

wasted time on needless worries passes with each acknowledged second. the clock ticking in the distance reminds me how alone i am in this home and it keeps me -six feet under-grounded, never letting me lose sight of the fact that i'm here and i'm alive so i might as well breathe in and try to sleep. these black and white dreams building the only bridge to passway that brings me closer to when i'll speak to you again. each night without you abandons my sense of self as i wonder how much longer it'll be until i'm a part of you again. my heart doesn't sound the same beating alone out of place without yours echoing one pace behind or ahead. always ahead. my heart now is just the sound of something missing. gone and away. i can think of how beautiful you are and how jealous the rest of nature must be as you pass by. i lie in between cold sheets with memories of you and happy times we've shared getting to where we are now keep me warm. sleepless but content, finding sudden comfort pulled from the moonlight shining through the window to my heavy eyes and restless mind is you're alive and you're mine. you're alive and breathing and each heartbeat brings the selfish feeling it's only for me. the thought of you being what i've been missing is soothing. your scent still lingers on the pillow below my head and every time i inhale i fear the let down of exhaling. outside the window the city lights go low as the sky turns dark and each seldom and select passing car gone by gives enough life to the night to last until sunrise. like a missed opportunity each car goes by the streets where we met and my life was never the same again. i wouldn't change a single second for chance this might have never happened. if we never met i'd still know what i was missing. a world that surrounds each body and each soul with promises, full of lost memories and second chances. outside people giving up with each red light on the street it makes me thankful for all i have. i can sleep at nights with the thought of you at peace. when i wake up i'll be another moment closer to holding you again, the gouging sense of the canyons between us and our lifestyles narrowing each day until both sides can cross and live in harmony. patience. i can sleep tonight. i love you. it's all that i have.